yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
