I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize