yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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