I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
