so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
