If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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