As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
