haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
