Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love having hate sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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