oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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