I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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