I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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