Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
