Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
