Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
