I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i think i just naturally attract stoners
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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