i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
