I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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