I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
