Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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