Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
