he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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