my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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