he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize