Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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