i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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