Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
