Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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