She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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