I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
