I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
