I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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