I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
