hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
