Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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