Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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