You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
