Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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