So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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