i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
