I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I wear drunk well.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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