i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
