I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
