i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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