and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
