I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize