We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize