And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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