Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
