She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
