Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
