I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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