i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
