NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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