If i come over, it means nothing
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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