My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
