I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
