So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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