genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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