Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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