Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
