Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
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i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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