I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
