I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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