i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize